Virginity means you have strong values and respect for yourself. You don't give yourself away to anyone that comes along, and if you look at the ones who do they often struggle in relationships, have no self-respect and aren't any happier.
Lack of opportunity may play a role in some cases but not all. The majority make the choice when the time is right for them not when society or another wants them to.
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Some days back I happened to see a teenager sporting a T-Shirt with a one liner on it - 'Virginity is not dignity, it's just the lack of opportunity'. The one liner really did amuse me , I had never thought of it that way. Was it just something that a punk teenager did to grab some attention or did he consider it cool as today's definition of cool is - anything against tradition or anything abnormal.
Coming from HINDU Religion - a culture that's against premarital sex, a glimpse of that one liner made me think about it in a different way.
The animal in us
As Leo Tolstoy has put it in one of his works, " the blood of the swine is always in man". Even as a kid when one doesn't know what the meaning of love or sex is, there exists a magnetic attraction towards an eligible partner of the opposite sex, which is an absolute animal trait. You can quit reading this if you think I'm rambling, but I need to say all this to get to the point. So by default, we have an animal pattern of living - the same primordial form of mating, food, shelter and comfort. Civilization and society teaches us to satisfy our animal urges in a way that would promote a peaceful co-existence with our fellow beings. But keep in mind the fact that the default nature in us isn't deleted - we are just taught to live in another way.
Either it maybe because of my orthodox upbringing or my land's culture, It wasn't something i could accept, the one liner wouldn't apply to a man with strong principles and moral values. A man with the will power to say no to things is definitely a contradiction to it. But then, where can we find such a man today?. This statement doesn't mean there aren't any but that it is too limited. Though evolution has helped in changing our animal form, our heavenly father left the primordial animal instinct in us - whether it is an anomaly or not, its not up to me to say. Anyway hats off to the person who said - " Man is a social animal".
So now lemme come to the point, Our forefathers would consider the one liner- 'Virginity isn't dignity, it's just the lack of opportunity', a taboo or an abomination to their values. But I can assure you that the majority of this generation would consider virginity a lack of opportunity as opposed to those who consider virginity as the purity of body and soul.
Our forefathers were more religious and the fear of the judgement that would befall them was always there and they seldom questioned religion. But the scenario has changed drastically, the generation no longer cherishes the concept of having faith in something that cant be seen, heard or felt. The new generation needs answers to their questions. This shift of perspective lessens the fear of religion and in turn having nothing to fear has caused an evident shift back to our default animal pattern of living.
So the question that we need to ask ourselves is that whether it is right to go back to our default animal character. Shouldn't ther be something we need to fear so as to keep our ethics and values straight?. Polygamy is a typical animal trait and the one liner indirectly points to that trait. Whether a person considers virginity the lack of opportunity or not depends entirely on his perspective - but the latter stance is more of an animal trait.
Coming to the confusing part - Is following our default animal pattern a sin?. This is something that has confused me always and I honestly don't have an answer to it. So I leave it to you.
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